Another wonderful weekend

Friday the 13th was a pretty uneventful day, nothing special at all!!  Saturday Tebow took on the Patriots and lost but I was still real proud of the efforts he put in.  Not to mention the fact that while we are watching playoff football we are discussing our faith and our beliefs!!  Amazing most people think that Tebows thing is that God made him a great football player to win games and championships.  However I have now seen in my own home what God wanted for Tebow and that was for all of us to have faith and have conversations about it.  I thank God for that.  I was disappointed that they lost and now I will be baking Steve cookies for loosing the bet, but I will never forget what it all meant to me.  Yesterday was Loris shower and it was a great time!  Kudos to Carol for putting together a great party!!  Lori got many great and cute things, I know there is plenty more that they will need and I hope they can be ready when Warren Cole Jones makes his arrival!! I pray for a healthy and safe delivery for both him and Lori!  I can't wait to meet him!  Today Caley & I had dinner with Elise who we haven't seen since her wedding on October 1st.  It was great catching up and just being out of the house!!  However coming home tonite and finding a problem in the toliet again was not what I wanted to deal with this week.  Hopefully it's just nothing, but we will see!!  If you need to get a hold of me, my phone is off, so email me at my new email address julieryan411@gmail.com or if you have the house number call it!  I hope to have a phone before the week is over!  Till next time, keep the faith!

January 6-12

This week was pretty uneventful, no more prednisone, feeling pretty good and things are going well with Steve.  By some miracle the Denver Broncos beat the Steelers and advanced in the playoffs and will play the Patriots on Saturday.  Tim Tebow is the big talk right now, a lot of people don't like him very much, but I have liked him since his sophomore year at Florida.  I read his background and found out that his parents are missionaries and he was born in the Philippines while his parents were there missioning.  He is real religious and thanks God in ever post game interview.  I guess that bothers a lot of people.  I think its great!!  So I am routing for them to go all the way and beat the Packers if the Giants don't do it this weekend!!  Today we had our first snow storm of the winter, not as much as predicted but there is still more on the way, we will see!!!  This week is the last week of my soap opera One Life To Live, I have been crying alot about it!  Also I have been working real hard to get this done and I feel great getting it done!!  Till tomorrow!

Time to write it all down

A few days ago I was reading a fellow ITPers blog and decide to make one of my own.  I tried to do this a bit on facebook but got away from it a bit.  I'm going to go back and journal in everything from the first day.  I was diagnosed with ITP on December 16,2010.  ITP is a rare blood disorder that affects your platelets.  During this year I have had many ups and downs, close battles with death, and a new sense of what life is really about.  I can't wait to go back and relive this last year one more time with all of you.  Until later, Julie

January 1-4 2012

On the 1st I woke up not feeling really good I figured it was just from being out side a lot the night before.  But on Monday I really didn't feel good I could hardly swallow so I decided to go in to Immediate Care to get seen since the doctors all had the day off for the holiday. They did a rapid strep test and it was negative, however the doctor looked in my throat and said it was real swollen and red so she put me on antibiotics.  At this time I am at  2.5 & 0 every other day and I was to take my last dose on the 3rd!!!  On the 4th I saw Dr.M and my count was at 57K so we are back on watch and wait.

December 2011

On the 1st I saw Dr. Egan and he said that I should start taking the Lorazapam again, I said I would think about it.  I told him that Steve & I made up but things were still unsteady.  On the 3rd I went with Caley to school to decorate Mrs.Oskrobas classroom door for her student council assignment.  We decided to make a tree out of the small trees with the kids pictures on them.  It was a lot of fun!  Sunday the 4th Caley and I got up a little late and headed out to St.John.  At 55th & Wolf I get pulled over and I was thinking what did I do?  I wasn't speeding I didn't do anything wrong.  The officer comes up and tells me that my right tail light is out oh and your drivers license is suspended!  I was like what?  Back in June Steve & I got stopped and I did not have insurance then so he got a SR22 thing and we bought insurance.  The officer said that it said financial reasons so I figured it must have had something to do with that.  He asked me if I had someone that could come pick us up and I said sure I would call my dad.  He said OK let me see what I can do for you.  SO I called my dad and told him and he said he would be there soon.  The officer came back and asked when he was going to be there and I said soon, I asked if he could just follow me up the road to church so I could drop Caley off and he said no I cant do that, I'm actually supposed to be arresting you and towing your car.  SO I said OK and thank you so much for not doing that.  He went back to his car and then another one pulled up behind him, he then came back and said we are going to go to the police station.  SO I followed him and his partner followed me.  We went to the police station and Dad came to get us.  The officer said Dad could take Caley to church but I could not leave yet.  I guess I'm arrested.  Dad, mom & Caley went to Dominicks and I was printed and had my mugshot taken.  Luckily for me this officer was so mice not to have done this in front of Caley, he also gave me an Ibond so I didn't have to pay bail.  He gave me my tickets and said my court date would be the 3rd of January.  I asked him if he thought Steve's would be suspended too and he said probably, I also asked if I could drive and he said no way!  SO dad came back and got me and we went home.  Caley & I had to go to her cousin Anthony's birthday party at the park which was good because I also volunteered to work the door at the winter wonderfest at the middle school at 2.  So mom dropped us off and we had a good time.  Its nice to see Bills family and for Caley to play with her other cousins.  The winter wonderfest was awesome and then we went home in enough time to see the bears lose.  On the 5th I went and had my blood taken at Burr Ridge it was 29K.  On December 7,2011, Pearl Harbor Day, I was supposed to have Rituxin but Dr. M had canceled it.  I had made Caley's 6 month dentist appointment for this day and I had to have mom drive us.  David was crabby that we couldn't pick him up and that made mom crabby and she was fighting with me.  Lately she had been fighting with me all the time because of the fact that I took Steve back.  I told her that I didn't care what anyone thought or what Steve did or didn't do because I knew that I did not want to be with out him.  The 8th was Davids 13th birthday!!  On the 10th he had his birthday party at the indoor water park hotel in Elmhurst.  I took Caley for a bit and then we went home.  I forgot to mention that mom & I went to the insurance guy and they told us to go to the DMV to find out what was up.  We took Steve with us as well to find out if his is suspended too.  They checked and said mine was for SR22 violation and Steve's was fine.  SO back to the insurance guy and they took care of the SR22 thing.  On the 12th I got a letter from the Secretary of State saying that I could drive again.  However I also got a letter saying that my court date was actually the 23rd of January.  Friday the 16th was my one year anniversary of ITP and that is when I started to put all of this together to put on paper.  On the 18th the bears played the seahawks and lost it was now evident that our season was over.  Also Dr. M said I didn't have to see her again until the 4th of January but to get a count checked on the 21st.  I decide to go on Monday instead of Wednesday and my count was 47K.  I got to go to down on the prednisone to 5 & 2.5 every other day.  Christmas came and went without any issues other then kids fighting again!!  LOL!!  The bears played the packers on Christmas night and we had hoped that we would be able to beat them by some miracle but we couldn't.  New years eve we had Carol & the Du and kids over and also Brian and Grace who have moved back to the neighborhood, since him and Jackie were splitting up.  We had a great time and I was so glad to be starting the new year with Steve!

November 2011

The week of Halloween week was the worst week of my life!  Steve & I fought like crazy and broke up on Friday after he had a problem at work, working for Colleen.  On the 2nd I went to the dentist and had the one tooth fixed, I also saw Dr.M that day my count was 49K but she decided that I should try Rituxin again.  On the 3rd I saw Dr. Egan and he upped my Buprion to 300mg daily.  I was having a real hard time dealing with fighting with Steve & being worried about having Rituxin again.  On Saturday the 5th, Steve came over to pick up all of his things from the house, it was really over.  I was so mad at him and he was being such a jerk to me and that was when I noticed a hickey on his neck!!  Really!!!  WTF!!!!  I told him I was going to tell his mom that I think he is drinking again and he said don't go anywhere near my moms car.  So I got in my car and drove away!  I was pissed and should not have been driving.  I drove around for a bit until I cooled off.  Becki was texting me asking if I was OK.  I was not!  She invited me to go with her to this thing at Bourbon Street next Friday so I said sure why not.  On the 8th I went in to have the Rituxin again, the nurses in the day hospital all remembered me from my brush with death back in February. My count that day was 20K.  They gave me Tylenol and benydryl and we got started nice and slow.  After the first hour it was time to increase the speed a bit.  After about ten minutes my throat got a bit tight and I felt like I could not swallow so mom got the nurse and the stopped the drip.  She gave me a shot of benydryl and waited for about 20 minutes then we started again and it was fine from then on.  On 11/11/11, Veteran's Day, we went to school for the program which is my favorite thing about Pleasantdale.  That night I went with Becki to the ladies night at Bourbon Street, it was a great time!  I drank way too much and ripped a t-shirt off a stripper!!!  On the 15th I went in for round 2 of Rituxin my count had gone way up to 108K, it went fine and we were home in time for Caley.  Caley & I baked Pumpkin bread that night.  My prednisone was lowered to 10mg daily.  I had my count checked at Burr Ridge on the 19th and it was 118K.  I have to mention that at this time I am not speaking to Steve or I should say he is not talking to me at all!  I was a mess, I cried all day and all night, I could not imagine not being with Steve ever again, but I felt like it had finally happened and we were over forever.  On the 18th I got a call from Colleen saying that J.J. called her and said that Steve was in the hospital in a diabetic coma!  She also mentioned that he said that Steve's girlfriend was asking him to get Steve's mom's phone number.  Great I'm in a terrible state of mind and now I have to worry about him too.  I call J.J. and get what he knows from him and then I call Loyola.  Steve picks up the phone and I was like are you OK and he said sorta and then he was like how do you know I am here.  I told him J.J. called and said his girlfriend wanted his moms number.  I was like you have a girlfriend and he said yeah.  I was heart broken and I hung up.  Glad that he wasn't in a coma, it turned out that he had pneumonia and not a diabetic problem.  I was crushed anyway and I thought it was never going to get any better. I have to mention that a few months back I decided that I wanted to make amends with Melissa, so I had made plans for her to come over tonite and talk.  It was real good and I think it was something I really needed to do.  It was a very powerful lesson in forgiveness, I never thought I could do.  Sunday the 20th proved me right, I wake up and go to the bathroom to then find blood in the toilet, and no it was not that time of the month yet.  I called Dr.M and go her answering service and left a message about what had happened.  I was told way back in the beginning to watch for this but it had never happened so I didn't know what to do.  They said go to the ER and have it checked out.  Great now I would be in the same building as Steve & I had to do everything I could not to go and see him, who was in ICU by the way.  The ER was so slow that day and we were ignored a lot because I was not really in an emergency situation.  They finally came and took my blood.  I decided to call Steve & tell him I was there in the ER, he was worried about me.  I love him so much and really wanted him to say that I should come and see him but he didn't.  Mom got mad at me for talking to him so she left and went to get food.  The Bears were playing the chargers at 3 that day so weren't missing the game.  They came back and my count was 118K so we got to leave and I was told to make an appointment with Dr. Reiger ASAP.  The bears won the game, however Cutler broke his thumb that day, we were on a win streak!  If we only knew that was the end of our season! Anyway on Monday the 22nd we went for Caley's PTC and met with Mr.Brade, Ms.Spetter, Mr.Woltman & Mr. Durkin.  I remember telling Mr. Durkin that I didn't think that Steve & I would ever be together again.  We talked about it with Caley to make sure that she knew it was not her fault, she knew that, just checking though!  I saw Dr Rieger on the 22nd to talk about my problem which I had happen again on Monday but not on Tuesday.  I was still very sad about Steve & I had a real hard time even talking to Dr.R about it.  He was really concerned about my emotional issues not so much the blood probelm.  I said I was seeing my therapist twice a week as long as the psychiatrist next week.  I saw Dr.M on the 23rd and my count was 84K and got to lower the prednisone to 10 & 5 every other day.  She also wanted to do two more rounds of Rituxin and I was like OK I guess.  We went to the circus that night and it rocked!!!  Thanksgiving came and went with no major issues, other then fighting kids!!  On Friday the 24th I sent Steve & email telling him about how much I love him and need him in my life and that I was ready to let him go as my boyfriend but not as a friend.  I told him that I needed him in my life becasue he had become my best friend and was there this whole horrible year.  He got out of the hospital on the 23rd.  I didnt do much shopping that day becasue I just wasn't feeling it.  On the 26th I invited Steve to come over and hang out, I thought I could handle just being his friend but all I wanted to do was grab him and hug him and kiss him until he said everything was going to be OK.  I have to mention also that I started going back to church with Erin to bible study on Wednesday nights and going to church on Sunday everyweek since my October trip to the hospital.  I had been praying like crazy telling God that I wanted him to make Steve come back to me.  That night when I had Steve over I had went up to go to the bathroom and I prayed to God saying I am going to try and kiss him unless you make me feel like I shouldn't.  I went back downstairs and I grabbed him and he said no do not kiss me.  So I guess that was my sign to not do it.  I was resigned to the fact that we were not meant to be together and I need to get used to being just his friend.  On the 27th we go over to Dennis & Erins for Molly's birthday, the bears are playing the reaiders with Caleb Hanie as the quarterback!!!  Oh boy are we in trouble!  But we won!!!  That night Steve called and said he wanted to hang out again and I was like OK.  On the phone he said I love you, I was like wow that came out of no where!  He gets here and I am outside and he says I have a surprise for you and he walks up and grabs me and kisses me!!!  I melted!!!  I was so happy!!  I know it doesnt fix any of our problems and still today they are not fixed but i dont really care!!  The 28th was the time of the month again and it was OK nothing bad at all.  I was set to have more Rituxin on the 30th but Dr.M emailed me and said that we were not going to do it.  It was a wild ride this month thats for sure!!

October 2011

October 1st I woke up not feeling real great since I over indulged the night before at April & Joe's wedding, I actually got into bed all dressed up!!  But I pressed on and got ready to go, I went and picked Caley up from Lori's after she did both or our hair, we were off to see Elise get married to Rudy.  I cried so much it was such a great ceremony.  Steve & I went to the reception and I was not feeling real great.  They had the coolest thing that I had ever seen, a candy table!!  So we snacked on chocolate covered pretzels while waiting for dinner.  We had a good time but left a bit early because I was not feeling good.  I saw Dr. M on the 5th and my count was 23K, again we were doing nothing but waiting and hoping that it doesn't fall any lower.  On the 8th I went to the dentist for a toothache I had all week.  I had asked Dr.M if it would be OK to have dental work done and she said cleaning was fine but nothing extreme.  He just looked at it and didn't do anything to it, just said to schedule an appointment to fill the one tooth and we will look at the other one. Which is a tooth I cracked over a year ago.  On the 10th  Steve started his new job at the landscaping company.  That night I had a melt down again and totally lost my mind again!  Colleen took me to Loyola and they sent me to Glen Oaks Hospital in Glen Ellyn.  It was a very scary experience and I never want to go back there again.  My count was checked at Loyola before I left and it was 35K.  At that hospital the doctors were not concerned about my medical condition at all, strictly focused on the mental.  I can't blame them that is what they do.  I met some nice people and some really crazy people while I was there.  I wanted to go home so bad it hurt! The NLCS and ALCS games were on that week so at night when no one was watching the TV I put baseball on.  The one girl thought that since there were no guys in the room at the time that no one was watching the game!!  Oh well, thanks Steve for the love of baseball I have today!!!  The doctor there wanted to start me on a medicine called Celexa and I asked if they had checked to see if it would lower my count, because I had already talked with Dr.M about this and she said to make sure of that before I start anything.  SO I told the nurse that I wasn't going to take it unless they could tell me it was safe, she said OK I will tell the doctor you refused it!  I was like wait a minute don't try and keep me here any longer by saying that I'm refusing, I just want to make sure it's safe.  SO that night I saw the doctor and he looked it up and it said there could be a bleeding risk if taking that medicine!!!  Really so you want me to take it when I am in a hospital that is not giving me any MEDICAL attention?  He agreed and started me on Buprion, wellbutrin.  I got to leave the hospital on Friday the 14th!!  I was so happy to be out of that place and never look back!  I will never forget it for the rest of my life, which I plan to live for a long time now!!  I saw Dr.Egan on the 20th and he increased the dose of the Buprion to 150mg daily.  I started seeing my therapist twice a week at this point. On the 21st we went to the Halloween Hop at Pleasantdale for the last time since next year she will be in middle school. I had a great time hanging out with the fortune tellers!!  And Caley, David, Nina & Eddie went to the cake walk and won lots of goodies!!  On the 26th I had the absolute worst period of my life.  I was terrified something bad was going to happen to me because I was bleeding so much.  I called Dr.M and she had me go in the next day to have a count done it was a big whapping 12K!  They called me and told me I had to start on 40mg daily of prednisone and if the bleeding got worse I was to go to the ER.  I saw Dr.M on the 28th and my count was up to 14K so she said that she was going to look into what the next option would be, because I was against spleenectemy.  On Halloween on the way to see Dr.M I was on the phone with Steve and he was very emotional.  Not quite sure what his deal was that day but I kind of thought he was being ridicule's.  I saw Dr.M and my count had come up to 35K so we are lowering the prednisone to 20mg a day and waiting to see what happens.  Mom & I picked up David & Lola and headed to Pleasantdale for what would be the last Halloween parade that we would be going to.  I was holding Lola in my jacket because it was cold out.  The BFD came over and told me that we could not have the dog at school.  I was like sure like we are going to leave now.  The parade was over and I took mom, Dave & Lola home.  I went back and chatted with Jolene until the kids came out.  We got home and Caley wanted to go down to NinasCaley this year, but it was better this way because I could not walk that much any way.  I came home and waited for Steve to get here, he had been working at McCormick place today.  I called him at 4:40 when he still wasn't here to see what was going on and he said the traffic was bad and he would be here as soon as he could.  At this time I was sitting at home by myself because mom even after having a fight with David took him over to his cousins house.  At 5:45 Dennis called and said that they were on there way over and I was like really you are?  I had no clue they were coming over, but I was so happy that they were.  I called Pat to see when they would be back or if I should come get Caley and she said they were on there way back.  I then called Steve to see where he was and he said he was at home!  I lost it!  I look back at it now and realize it was so stupid to get so mad about this, but the steroids messed with my head so bad that I couldn't be rational.  I told him to go f himself and not bother coming over.  That was the beginning of a very terrible week for me.  I also have to mention that the St. Louis Cardinals won the World Series.