I have had enough!

This thing called ITP sure has done something to my life!  I don't even know where to start.  Tuesday Steve & I had the worst fight we ever had in our whole eight years.  I can't even tell you what it was about because I don't really even know myself.  Besides my problems with Steve that have become unmanagable since I have been sick there is not one thing in my life that is not messed up some how or some way because of this stupid thing!  For a long time all I ever wanted was to live like a normal grown up person.  Has that been too much to ask for? Maybe!  Maybe because my whole childhood I was a spoiled brat and did not handle dissapointment so my mom would just give me whatever I wanted so I wouldn't be upset. I am still that spoiled little brat today and that is why I am typing and carrying on about it!  I want so much more out of my life and this ITP is holding me back.  I know that I need to be positive and I need to try harder but I just have never been that way.  When you go threw life always getting what you want there just is no other way.  At 32 years old, how do I stop that way of thinking? How do I get out of here and make something of my life? Somedays I feel that it is never going to happen that I just have to suck it up and be thankful for what I have.  I mean I truly am thankful that I have a home to live in and food to eat and electric and internet and heat and I could go on and on of the neccesary stuff that I do have.  Also, I am not in as bad of shape ITP wise as some others are.  I have not been in the hospital since October & I have not had any major critical type issues with my ITP.  I thank God every day for those things.  But I guess I need to thank other people every day.  I need to thank my parents for letting us live here.  I need to thank all my family and friends that have helped take care of Caley when I was too sick to do it myself.  I need to thank my doctor and all the people at the hospital for everything they have done for me.  I need to thank my therapist because without her I surley wouldn't be here today.  I have to thank all the ladies in bible study for praying for me all the time.  And even if I do all that and I try real hard I just don't know if it will change anything.  Will it make me happy?  Will it give me a chance to leave here?  I pray so hard everyday that something changes inside of me and I stop feeling this way.