The last few weeks.

On Monday February 6th I went over to Steve's house and took a pregnancy test.  It came out positive very quickly.  For a moment I couldn't breath or speak.  I sat with Steve in complete silence for about 5 minutes.  Not knowing what was going thru his mind at the time, I was silently thanking God for giving me this baby. In the fall when things were real rough for Steve & I, I had prayed to God asking if we were meant to be that he would show me some way. It didn't happen then and I was going to give up on Steve forever, which I know some people would have loved!  I tried to let go of him and tell myself that my life would be better with out him.  It was very hard to do, obviously because that was not Gods plan.  After we sat there in the quiet I said hey guess what? You are going to be a dad!!  He let out a big breath and said yeah I am.  Not as enthusiastic as I was, but still had a little excitement in there.  My phone then rang and it was Colleen, I asked her to get me a test from her work, even though I already took one.  I did not tell her yet that I knew.  Steve wanted to wait a little bit.  His parents were out of town so we were spending the week at his house.  Later that day when I went to pick Caley up from school, I just couldn't contain myself anymore so I told my friend Jolene. She said she would not tell anyone until we were ready for everyone to know.  The next day I told Colleen, Mom & Lori.  Now this is the part that gets hard, Steve did not tell his parents when they came home from vacation.  I was really upset and hurt by this.  Finally after two weeks, he told his mom.  But he didn't tell her that we knew for two weeks, he told her that he just found out!  I was ticked!  Not only did we know for two weeks, we had already seen the Dr and had an ultra sound were we saw the heartbeat!!  I thought wow, I guess he really is not happy about this is he? Oh well I am not taking it back now!  It took another two weeks before he told his dad, and that is the extent of people he has told.  I'm still very upset by this, obviously because here I am telling the free world and he hasn't even told his Aunts or Uncles or cousins!!!  However, I move on!  Steve is working this week, which is the best news we have had in a long time.  Also, my lawyer is working hard on my disability case.  I am truly hopeful that everything will work out.  So like I said my count has been bouncing around a bit but staying in pretty good places.  Dr. M has said that she will remove my spleen if my count drops below 30K.  I am very much against this!  The MFM, which stands for Maternal Fetal Medicine, says that it is safe to have the surgery done during pregnancy, but would like to try something else first.  I can see this being a crazy battle!  I pray that I will not need to deal with it at all!  I have my second  UTI of this pregnancy and I am worried there is something wrong with my Kidney.  I am having pain in my back and waiting on a call from the doctor.  However, that is not the only thing that is weighing on me today.  One of my very good friends from grade school is in the ICU.  Please pray for her today.  I love you all and I will write more again soon!

I know, it has been awhile.

I have not written anything thing here in awhile, mostly because of the news of my pregnancy that I was not ready to share with the world just yet!  This last six weeks since I have written last has been a very interesting time for me.  Obviously as I just mentioned I am pregnant! Steve & I are full of every emotion there is lately!  I have been feeling ok just a little quesy and having headaches.  My count has been fluctuating a bit here and there.  But as my last post read they had doubled in the month of January from 57K to 103K.  My last count was last week and it was 94K, I am going in a little bit to have them checked again.  Right now I am trying to orgainize my thoughts better to tell the story of the last six weeks, I will get back to this later!!